It was a little over a year ago, 2017 was sneaking on us and it has been a tough year to say the least. Back tracking a little bit New Year ’s Eve of 2010 I remember leaning at a counter at a friend’s party when he ask me if we want to make it “Official”. I was only 19 and he was 21. At that time I never knew that he would be the “ONE”.

It wasn’t a love at first sight; it was more like keeping each other company I guess. We were both young, and I will be the first one to admit I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

A few months later, our relationship grew the more time I spend with him the more my feelings develop.

Next thing I know, I AM HOOKED

I still remember the very first time I said I love you. We were at Six Flags about to ride Texas Giant (I was very terrified; I HATE Roller Coasters) he screamed I LOVE YOU! AND, Thinking I might die at that second the word came out “I LOVE YOU TOO”!

Now married for almost 5 years in February and together for 7 years I look back to this year it and it has been a roller coaster! Nothing has been easy, A lot has changed, and we are still growing. I never knew what it takes to have good marriage; we both came from broken family, and not really knowing what to expect I was LOST at first.

But then I realize there’s two of us now a HUSBAND and a WIFE; I won’t ever have to figure it out alone, I won’t ever have to face all the problem by myself.

There are struggles, the latest BIG one was New Year’s Eve of 2016. It started with something small, all I really want was some help to clean the house. I just wanted him to clean the freezer! That was it… I had already sweep, mop, dusted, and the dishes done and put up. In my mind I just wanted his help; I had already done everything… But then he response with an attitude, knowing him he did not want to do it. And of course what did I do I did !what he hates the most! I started cleaning the FREEZER after he had already said he would do it. He was already mad…and I am getting there.

I knew it was something simple and stupid…but then my mind starting thinking. Do I really want another year living life like this? The misunderstandings and agreements really worth it? I felt helpless…and I have been feeling that way for a while. He then told me to go to my mom’s and it took a lot out of me to say “If I go to my moms, I am not coming back” I was already crying at this point, bawling. I can’t believe I just said what I said. Does it mean that my marriage is over? Do I just give up? What did I really mean? Do I just leave? It was an all time low.

All I wanted was to feel like I am loved, and not a maid. I wanted to feel like there’s 2 of us. And that he is there for me. I don’t want to feel like I am walking on an eggshell. I love him more than life itself but it felt one sided. What do I do!

But then not considering him, he feels the exact same! He works to provide and care for our family and I was blinded by what? Him not helping, him not doing chores; I was blinded by resentment and I failed to see HIM, he has been there the whole time loving me, caring for me, providing.

His face turned when he heard me say it, he had the saddest eyes, I know he was hurt and I was too! I knew it was a lot more than cleaning. It was EMOTIONAL, and we were both hurting. Everything came up, I was repressing a lot of my anger and my actions are affecting it. I would always seem mad without even realizing it and it was affecting him too. He would be irritated and I would just brushed it off without even asking… The communication wasn’t there and everything else followed without even realizing it I was truly heartbroken, It was hard to breath… It was a small task and it BLEW up. A lot of issues that we were both unaware was brought up and every issues I feel like the chances of us surviving was getting smaller and smaller.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (year right!)

Fighting, borderline separating – that’s how our year started. For a person that is full of superstitions It was a bad sign all I could do is PRAY. Pray that we survive this, Pray to GOD to shed us the light of love, Pray that it was nothing but a big misunderstanding. Pray that we work this out.

The next step was a lot of talking, we sat down in the living room and we asked each other Do you still love me? Do you still have faith in us? Yes and Yes. How do come back from this? How did we get here? What can we do?

It took time, and adjustment to get where we are now. It wasn’t instant I had to changed my way and so does he… We got very comfortable; we stopped falling in love. We went back to basic, we had more date nights, we texted more, it was like we were back to dating trying to woo each other. The love was there; we deeply cares and love each other it was just a matter of digging it back up and finding it again.

Even the smallest thing, we would kiss and hug each other in the morning before one of us leaves and that stopped for a while, I also used to make him lunch and leave small notes but with him changing job that also stopped. It’s those small things that we brought back; nothing too drastic but we both know something has to be changed.

Not only we worked on our relationship but we also had to make changes ourselves; I was an angry person who repressed a lot of things and I had to change my way. I found ways to express my feelings a little better; and I learned not to keep a lot of things to myself and share it to my husband. We both did a lot of self-healing, and the other main thing was we didn’t give up on each even when things are hard.

A year later, things are so much better ; we are better, we are INLOVE, we learned to be more respectful of one another and considerate. We discuss our issues and work it out without holding it against each other. We live and we learn, nobody is perfect, have a mindset of caring for your spouse and they will do the same. I was selfish for a while; all I cared for was how I feel and my needs without even considering his.

Love each other unconditionally; give your 100%; be considerate.
Next Month we celebrate our 5th year of Marriage, and we have a LIFETIME to go!