Reinforcing

His Greatness

    Have you ever wondered what it is like to have the ultimate power of influence? You know the kind of influence that changes the atmosphere when a person walks in the room or that draws the very best out of people with a simple glance?  I have often thought of how it would feel to impact drastic change in hearts and outcomes of people’s lives. Then the Holy Spirit showed me that I absolutely possess this atmosphere altering dominance…and so do you! It just so happens it is with the most important person in your life; YOUR SPOUSE!

So, what do we do with it? It is for so much more than getting our husbands to wash the dishes or paint the room that has needed a touch-up for two years or unclog the sink.  Its application can help him to become everything that God created him to be.

It seems that now in our culture, there is a fight against the idea that a woman was made for a man. We strive to prove our independence in many facets of life and women are (rightfully) fighting for the many of the same benefits (equal pay, opportunities, etc.) as men. I believe that God created us equal–no doubt. But in order to embrace the fullness of my femininity, I have to accept the power of my influence and the importance of being a supportive wife. There are several ways to reinforce the greatness in your husband, a few things that work great for me are praying, remembering to be his friend, and then being my best.  

When we pray, we let God know not only that we care about our spouses, but that we trust His plan for them.  The best way to pray is “Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” God has countless thoughts towards us and our loved ones. So I like to pray that God would put us in position to make all of his thoughts towards us come to pass.

Also, when we pray, we can unload some of the stress that comes with being a great and supportive wife.  Prayer allows us to draw close to God and get filled and refilled on what we need to be what our families need.  Plus if there is an offense towards my hubby, I can talk to God about it and find out if I am in the wrong (which I am, more than I care to admit). It’s much better than arguing with him about it.

After prayer, a top priority in our home is friendship.  We laugh together, pray together, eat together, and sleep together.  It is the basis of our relationship, so when we need to attack a situation together, the foundation is already there. I do things with him that I never had interest in prior to meeting him. Like shooting our guns or watching a basketball game (without complaining).

Continuing to build our friendship also helps so that when I have constructive criticism, he knows I’m coming from a place of love and not judgment. Friendship with our spouses breaks down the barriers of obligation and we do the things that are needed out of delight and love for each other.  It causes a light atmosphere in our home that allows him to open up to me and share his hopes, dreams, and fears.  Then, I know what to take to God in prayer and what to get an action plan about.

Lastly, (through God) I am my best. That means, I spend quality time with the Lord to get what I need for myself. When I am the best me, our brains can fire together and we can make really good things happen. Whether it is coming up with a plan for a business venture or a simple tag team effort to feed and bathe Carver.  

Sug can then see the strengths that I bring to the table and allow me to play the role that will bring the best out of him and the challenges we encounter.  Through the basis of prayer and our friendship, he respects the qualities that God put in me to help him and doesn’t feel like I am nagging.  This gives me the best opportunity to help him and please God.

We know God is pleased when we are supportive in our marriages through a simple scripture that most (church) women have read many times:

Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders  Proverbs 31:23 NLT

Most of the scriptures in Proverbs 31 detail the actions of this noble woman and how she carries herself.  But the exception is verse 23. The key is though her husband holds the position; the honor is ascribed to her.  That’s right ladies…she gets the credit for his accomplishments!  Not that I am after credit, but it is great to be recognized every now and then for your efforts.

So not to say that your entire life is revolved around your husband’s hopes and dreams; but, it is to say that in accomplishing all that God has for you to do, helping hubby be successful in Christ is a major part of that. It is rewarding in our relationships with Christ and our hubbies.

So now that you know about that awesomeness inside you to influence, what do you plan to do with it?

Dominique Nealond
Lover of 2 Kings, Founder
Website: loverof2kings.com 
Facebook: Lover of Two Kings
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Conceive Plus® $5 Promotion!

Young mother with her 2 years old little son dressed in pajamas are relaxing and playing in the bed at the weekend together, lazy morning, warm and cozy scene. Pastel colors, selective focus.

       If you’re trying to conceive and have been having some challenges, you DON’T want to miss this! We recently wrote an article about the benefits of using the product Conceive Plus® and the many positive reviews that came along with it. There were a large number of comments and eagerness of couples wanting to try it. Here’s your chance!

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Mark and Laquilla Lane

Husband and Wife for Life, Founders

If you have just started trying or have been trying for a while, Conceive Plus® fertility lubricant can help increase your chances of getting pregnant naturally! Try it now for only 5$!

Advertorial from SASMAR Conceive Plus®. The opinions and text are all mine.

The Big Financial Trap That is Destroying Marriages

Society as a whole has been falsely programmed in believing that in order to thrive financially; we need to live off of two incomes in our households. That belief system is an absolute MYTH! It’s actually a terrible idea to base your financial lifestyle off of both you and your spouse’s income. As a matter of fact, you should live off of only one of your incomes. If the recent economic downturn of 2008 taught us anything, it’s that we need to be very careful with how we go about making large purchases.

You should never buy a house based off of two incomes, and most definitely you should not purchase a vehicle in that manner either. You may say, “Well in that case, we won’t be able to live at all”. That’s simply not true! If you make the conscious decision to base all of your major financial necessities off of one income, you will actually be living a much better life full of flexibility and options. We personally took this approach from the very beginning in our marriage, and have been able to avoid financial disaster as a result.

Steering Clear of the Trap
We made the purposeful decision, to live our life based simply on one of our incomes alone. We took into consideration the possibility that one day, becoming a stay at home mom could become to be a reality. We also considered the fact that one of us could one day be laid off from work. We knew for a fact, that we did not want our family to be stretched too thin financially. We knew that we would be placing ourselves on the brink of losing everything, if we instead built a lifestyle created on the basis of having two incomes. By using this approach, we were able to use the other person’s income to do other more meaningful things. As an example, while living off of one income, we used our second income to invest into a real estate venture.

This is an opportunity we would have not been able to take advantage of, if we needed both of our incomes to simply make ends meet. Having established this type of lifestyle allowed us to jump into the investment world with both feet, without being afraid. More importantly, we were also able to give more to our local church, as well as to people that were in need. Additionally, we went on family vacations, and even dined out at a few fancy places from time to time. One of the biggest financial benefits was that we were able to continuously add to our growing savings and investment accounts.

Big Time Decisions
Our fortitude was really put to the test, by the time we had our second child. I made the big time decision to come home and stay with our children. It started to become really challenging juggling work schedules, child care, cooking dinner, and all of the millions of obligations that come along with being a career woman. So for me personally, the best thing to do was to come home full time. Surprisingly, this actually became an easy transition for me. The key ingredient that made the transition a smooth one, was the fact that we had already established a level of lifestyle that did not involve my income. As a matter of fact, we ended up purchasing a larger home for our growing family shortly thereafter. By God’s grace, we were able to do so, strictly based on my husband’s income!

How many people are working at a job that they can’t stand, simply because they have to keep up with their lifestyle, and all the payments that come along with it? If we would have based all of our financial needs off of both of our incomes, there is no way that I would’ve been able to follow my heart’s desire and come home full time with our children. It brings me so much joy when I can take our children to school, without thinking about impending bills to pay, based on me working outside of the home. It’s something that you can get use to very quickly. We would not have been able to do this, if we did not BUDGET our life based solely on one income!

Why Not You?
Creating and sticking to a budget every single month, is what has allowed us to properly use my husband’s salary more efficiently. If you are in a household with two incomes, take the next couple of months and do a trial run. Make all of your financial decisions based off of one of your salaries. You may have to cut back on some things to make it work. However, you will quickly find out that it’s simply the best way for you to establish your lifestyle. Nobody knows for certain what’s awaiting them down the road. However, we can all proactively plan for our future in the best way that we know how.

info@HisandHerMoney(dot)com
www.HisandHerMoney.com

Trying to Conceive Just Became Easier!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhdLPlooXrs

Are you and your spouse trying to have a baby? Has months or years gone by without a positive test? We have come across a product that will help you conceive easier, faster and naturally! Our family experienced a year and a half of frustration trying to have our third child. It came right after the quick passing of our 35 week old still born baby. With the stress in both of our personal lives and hormonal changes of my physical body, every month also came with the failure of not conceiving again.

Within this time came a lot of disconnect between each other. Communication was slim to none and what was said, wasn’t being heard the way the other thought it should have been. Money troubles and debt began to occur, with the ongoing pregnancy tests and doctor visits. To many of you, it may even be fertility treatments, which can cost thousands of dollars.

After we were able to conceive, we learned that the process made our marriage stronger and it helps us realize how much communication was important and how to be sensitive to each other feelings. Also, to put each other first when trying to understand each other and how the other perceives life’s situations.

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Laquilla L.

If you have just started trying or have been trying for a while, Conceive Plus® fertility lubricant can help increase your chances of getting pregnant naturally! Now available from selected online retailers from just $14.99.

SASMAR Conceive Plus® sponsored this blog post. The opinions and text are all mine.

What To Do When Your Spouse Won’t Talk!

        Disagreements, disappointments and arguments can lead to times when you just want to be in separate rooms. Seems so much easier to not even look at each other, right? Well, with communication being one of the vital keys to a successful marriage, that can’t last for long. So, if you have a spouse that doesn’t want to talk or you may be having a hard time voicing your concerns because you are just too upset, it is very important to find a way to communicate. Don’t know what to do? Here are some very successful ways to get the communication going again in your marriage. Pick one, pick two, or go with them all…..but, you will be talking again after you try these!

• Type an Email-  There have been times we also couldn’t even get a word out to each other, or could bare to even look at each other because we were so upset. But, what email does is to re-open the line of communication so that at least things can start to work through. This is also a way for both spouses to say what is on their mind in a quiet way (withOUT the sound of yelling, mumbling, or grunts of frustrations). Emailing is also a way to type out what your thinking really fast, then go back and edit those “not so nice” words before you hit the send button. Once the line of communication is back open, email back and forth until you both are ready to schedule a time to talk about it.

• Send a Text-  Hey! This is 2015 right? We all have phones and use them religiously, so why not use what you already have? If you have something on your mind to say to your spouse and just can’t get it out to their face, a simple text could help. Remember, keep your texts respectful. You may be upset or remorseful, but voice yourself with class and dignity. Words can take seconds to say (or text), and years to heal.

• Write a Letter- This is our absolute favorite! We have done this multiple times, through good and bad times, and it works. There is something about putting pencil to paper. It is the most personal touch you can do to re-opening the line of communication with each other. Take a piece of paper, sit in a quiet place and really think about what is bothering you or how to say your apologies. Don’t only think about your perspective, but think about the situation from the spouse’s perspective also (this creates a better letter that reflects change and maturity). Again, be wise and be respectful while writing. We want to re-open communication, not shut it back down. After you’re finished, write at the end that they can write a letter back or if they are ready, schedule a time to talk. Leave it where they can find it without you around.
  

• Leave a Voicemail- A spouse not answering the phone can be so aggravating, right? Wait. Breathe. Don’t let it get the best of you, you get the best of it. Leave a voicemail. But before you do, be sure you are NOT “on edge” and extremely upset. Settle down a little first, before making this call again. If you are calling to apologize…..be sympathetic, sincere and sensitive to your spouse’s feelings. This is not always effective, but your marriage is always worth a try.

• Post-It Notes- Quick and easy! Little notes left around the house can be effective and also romantic. “I’m Sorry for …………” or “I won’t do that again because I see how much it hurt you”……or even “You mean so much more……”, can be small ways to open up communication while adding a little love. Leave them posted on mirrors, refrigerators, closet doors, steering wheels….anywhere you know they will be found. Be creative, but also seriously considering the feelings of your spouse.

• Give a Gift- Not always encouraged, but if this is your spouse’s love language, it could possibly work. Flowers or fruit baskets delivered to their job, or a small heart shaped pendant. Either way, gifts are always eye-catchy and most of the time accepted. Attach a small note to your gift to encourage a talk so that you can start to end any disagreement or disappointments.

Your marriage is worth every attempt to successful communication with your spouse. Let us know which way works or has worked for you!

4 Ways to Know That You are Truly

Enjoying your Spouse

As responsibilities increase and the demands of your time seem to be never ending, life slowly becomes routine and sometimes a little less desirable. It’s easy during this time, to forget about the small things God has placed around you and the people that He gave you. Especially in your marriage, life can get so busy that you tend to neglect the most important part of your relationship, your spouse. You NEED your spouse to complete every area  in your marriage. It takes two to have a successful marriage. So, don’t let life get so busy, that you forget to enjoy the person God placed in your life. Here is 4 ways to truly know if you are enjoying your spouse:

1. When your spouse walks in the room, the entire atmosphere changes. The energy is magnifying. Including the smile on your face, everything inside of you radiates.

2. You are always looking for the next opportunity to be alone with them.

3. In public places you like to be sure they are noticed and you jump to the chance to introduce them to someone as your “husband” or “wife”.

4. When your spouse comes to you and wants to talk, everything else becomes less important.

If you are not experiencing the incredible qualities about your spouse, its time to re-prioritize, and say “NO” to some of the demands of your time so your spouse feels important and needed in the marriage. Your spouse is most important when it comes to the success of the marriage.

It’s easy to say, “I’m Sorry”, “I Love you”, “I won’t do it again”, or “I will do it tomorrow”, and move on about our day. BUT, empty promises only lead to empty marriages. Talk is more that just words. It holds a lot of value and love. Once love is discredited, it puts the entire marriage at risk and brings doubt and distrust into the relationship. Be truthful. Talk from your heart, but react with accountability.

Laquilla Lane

A Moment Away

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then……..again. You all know the drill. It’s the demands of life and routines that are set in place to fill in our already busy days.

Well, today was the first time in the house all by myself in a while. As I lay down with my notepad, I reflect on the importance of having time to myself. The quietness and still in the air gives me the opportunity to write out my thoughts, gain clarity of why I was put here on this earth, reflect on the blessings in my life, regain my energy, de-stress and relax. After my husband and I helped each other go through years of depression, I now fully understand the value of this moment away from work, church, friends, and even family. Through those low days, it was the “time outs” we both had to ourselves that helped us with the times we needed together.

One day, I woke up to find my husband still in bed with me. Normally, he would be at work but he turned to me and said that he called his boss to tell him that he wouldn’t be going in to work that day because he needed to re-focus his mind. I congratulated him for recognizing that he needed a “time out”, which is so hard to do since we all feel guilty about taking time for ourselves. Remembering the past years of struggles that we both faced, I quickly jumped at the opportunity to create a moment for him and only him. Sometimes that moment is all we need.

I decided to called a massage parlor and book an appointment for him.

I learned through our depression years that the time you spend with yourself is valuable and irreplaceable. It’s a sacred time for you to re-connect with YOU.

Let’s face it, we all want/need time to ourselves. If both spouses dedicated their time to and created a passion for learning and recognizing what the other spouse needed, and then fulfilled it, BOTH spouses would always have everything they need. In our situation, my husband needed time away. I honored him with that.

Honor your spouse. Learn about their needs and stress triggers. Be creative in finding ways that will give them an opportunity to be present in their own moment. They deserve it, and your marriage needs it.

written by: Laquilla Lane

   Coming together in marriage is fulfilling Gods will and purpose. When two people come together in Gods will, they become one while bringing their God given purpose with them within the relationship. When He reveals purpose in one spouses’ life, the marriage gains purpose as well. One goal in marriage is to pray for and support each other to find and walk into their purpose for their life. Passion will help give you direction towards what that purpose is and it will motivate you until you receive the manifestation of your purpose. Purpose will help you fulfill hope and wealth for your future and your marriage.

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

      Many times spouses argue because of the miscommunication to each other about their passions and purpose. It is your job as a spouse to stay prayerful and ask God to reveal His purpose to you and to give your spouse their designed purpose as well. But….Get Ready! Once your spouses’ passion lines up with his/her purpose, you will notice a shift in your spouse and your marriage. There will be good time and not-so-good times, but they all will ultimately work together for the blessings God has placed over your marriage.

      Part of honoring God in your marriage means to support and push your spouse in fulfilling their purpose. Husbands and wives unite and align on their individual purposes and thus the purpose in marriage. Below are some tips from both Husband and Wife point of view to help your spouse walk in purpose!

 1. BE POSITIVE ABOUT HER IDEAS

      It’s hard to keep passion and purpose still. It will stir in your mind and spirit all day and all through the night. Your always thinking of new ideas and creating new concepts and it’s hard to turn it off. So, when your wife comes to you with what seems to be “another” idea or an “outrageous” concept, be positive, have faith and see light in what she is speaking. Fulfilling purpose requires thinking that will lift you out of your comfort zone and sometimes it will feel inconvenient and uncomfortable.

 2. KEEP HIM MOTIVATED ABOUT HIS PURPOSE

      Fulfilling a greater vision in life will bring times of frustration and failure. When your husband comes into this time, be his motivator. Husband are there to be the providers and to direct their family throughout life’s cycles. Making mistakes while fulfilling purpose can bring on doubt. Since he is born to lead, he can take mistakes as a spiritual and mental defeat. Keep him focused on Gods will for his life and the harvest of blessings waiting for him. Be creative and come to him with your own ideas on how you can help him overcome obstacles. This will reassure him that he’s not in it alone. Also, offer to lead prayer with him as night, pray for his faith and that God rewards his faith for successfully walking through trials. While he is down, this is the most important time to show your support, faith and love for what he believes in.

 3. CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE FOR HER TO DE-STRESS

     Too much stress can be a slow killer of your visions, mind and spirit. Your wife needs a normal level of stress to be able to operate in her purpose. Pay attention to times when your wife is over-extending herself to others or becoming frustrated over certain situations. Learn the things that she does to relax and unwind. Then, take the initiative to make those things available for her. Make it a priority to be sure she has access to her stress relievers.

 4. HIGHLIGHT HIS STRENGTHS TO MINIMIZE HIS WEAKNESSES

     To fulfill purpose it is important to know your strengths and how to utilize them. Get in tune with the areas your husband is the strongest in and expose them, Show him that his strengths are not in knowing everything, but in knowing how to use what he knows and choosing positives to overcome negatives. We all have weaknesses, negatives, and flaws, but they don’t need to have a spotlight. Our imperfections are all a part of our character, personality and ultimately our destiny.

 5. BE HER BIGGEST FAN

     Support goes beyond words alone. Support takes action. Be a part of her greatest journey, which is her God given purpose. Be her cheerleader! Go with her to meetings or appointment. Try your best to be present with her at social and networking functions. Make every effort to make it easy for her to meet deadlines. Talk about her faith walk to others and praise her for her courage to follow Gods purpose over her life. Don’t minimize the smallest victories. When she hits a goal, whether big or small, take the initiative to celebrate BIG!

 6. HAVE HIS BACK WHEN OTHERS DON’T GET IT

     While your husband works to fulfill the purpose in his life he will often come across people who don’t believe in his calling. Don’t allow others to minimize his purpose and passion. Back up what he believes and refrain from letting others think that you fall short in believing in his success. You are his backbone and God gave you to him to hold him straight up when others try to knock him down.

     The most important goal in marriage is to continue praying for each other and for what God has designed for each spouse to be. Prayer will be the most important seed when planting your purpose.

 “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matt. 18:20)

     Pray that God gives your spouse understanding about this purpose. Pray that He leads and guides them throughout their journey and pray for your spouse’s faith. When your spouse receives understanding and clarity, it will help them with the trials that may come up against and help you walk through it with them. Also, thank God for the blessings He has promised. He has perfectly designed your marriage and only He knows it’s greatest end.

Husband and Wife for Life Founders, 

Mark and Laquilla Lane

BREAK the ROUTINE in 2015!!
       

   Creativity is a key essential in marriage. Don’t be afraid to do things together that are abnormal, out of the ordinary, different, out of your regular routine and spontaneous. Although there are key components to successful marriages that should be followed, outside of that, it is easy to get wrapped up in how a married couple “suppose” to interact or what they should be doing for each other. Your marriage is unique and special and you should treat each other as such.

         For 2015, commit to being creative. Think of new ideas that your spouse would have never thought you would think of. Treat your spouse to a year of something irregular, unusual, uncommon, or just plain out weird. Besides, who want to see and do the same things over, and over, and over and over again?  It’s those new things that create that needed spark, breaks that boring methodical, and helps you gain a new outlook on what your marriage is and what it can become.

        Don’t know where to begin or need ideas? Start with asking your spouse the kind of things he/she likes to do or the things that are really important to him/her. Write them down. This will give you an excellent base for your new commitment of creativity. Let this list become your inspiration to opening up your mind. Ideas can be as simple as asking your spouse to go on a walk with you to the ice cream store or wearing his/her favorite outfit. Or, as grand as flying your spouse on a weekend getaway to a place he/she has always wanted to go or instead of buying their favorite item…….you learn how to make it. Whatever you choose, always remember that the limit on creativity is endless. It is LIMITLESS. So, never think you have done it all. And, don’t make it hard. Any act of creativity, with thought and love, will never go unnoticed and unappreciated. But, you have to try. Start NOW!

Share your Acts Of Creativity (A.O.C.) on our Facebook and Twitter walls throughout the year!

Mark and Laquilla Lane