Meet Jim and Liz

Married 4yrs

How and where did you meet?

We met online. Liz: After we agreed to meet for our first date, I prayed for the Lord to direct me. I had been a single mother of three for almost ten years and Jim was a single father. The Lord clearly spoke to me on the way to meet him. He told me to ask Jim his birth date. When we sat down, that was the first question I asked him. We have the same birthday! We also each have two boys and one girl, making us a family of 8, and have two grand daughters. 

Share something that you admire about each other:

Liz: I admire Jim’s ability to make each person feel important. He takes time to recognize what most people look past. I also admire his day in and day out commitment to provide for and protect our family.

Jim: I admire Liz’s fearlessness and never say die attitude.

Share a challenge in your marriage that you have overcome together and how you overcame it:

Since we have married we have endured job loss, starting a business, job change & loss, buying a home, 3 mission trips to Zambia, my father’s death, 2 children graduating high school, one getting ready to graduate college, two leaving home, and combining two families and still maintaining our sanity and love and respect for each other. We give all credit to the Lord. Lots of prayer and unconditional love, period. Nothing else works. Without Him, we would have folded in the first six months. Truly what God brings together, no man can tear apart. Amen!

After you have overcome the situation, how has it made your marriage stronger?

We became a team, and looked to each other. We saw that we had influence in each child’s life, and it gave us purpose not only in loving each other, but in loving our children. It also has made us one.

Share a funny or interesting story.

Jim left for Zambia the day we got married. One of his teammates found out, and said, ”Honey. he’s not going off to war!”

Meet Eric and Susan

Married 13yrs

How and where did you meet?

We we’re both students, platonic roommates and good friends at Howard University. Once we discovered that our relationship was changing, Susan decided to move out so the relationship could go further.

Share something that you admire about each other:

Eric: I admire Susan’s selflessness. She puts herself before others.

Susan: I admire Eric’s determined mind. If he sees something, he is determined to go get it no matter what.

Share a challenge in your marriage that you have overcome together and how you overcame it:

We almost didn’t make it. Winter of 2008, we separated. It was the worst season of our relationship. Everyday of that season seemed and felt like hell on earth.  Eric: Susan had every reason to leave me, and I thought that she would; however, we were both determined that God hated divorced, and we didn’t want to disobey God. So we stuck through it.

With hours and hours of uncomfortable conversations, attempting to find understanding and a reason (beyond the kids) to make it work. Today, five years later (after separating), we’re closer than we’ve ever been.

After you have overcome the situation, how has it made your marriage stronger?

We are more intimate. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Eric: I don’t have to feel like I have to be perfect for her to accept me. Susan: I don’t have to feel the pressure that I have to do everything right. We’re stronger because a storm could have destroyed us, but we survived…together. 

Share a funny or interesting story.

Eric: Susan was just coming back from a weekend getaway. I was alone with all 5 of our kids (yes FIVE) and she was away. She was reluctant to get a way because she feared the house would be chaotic upon her return. I fought hard to keep the house as decent as I could…and I wanted her return to be special. I wanted her to know I missed her. 

So I got a sheet of paper and took it with me to the airport, and stood at the place where valet would wait for people coming off a flight…and I held the paper up. When she saw it, she blushed and smiled, and people all around us seemed to be encouraged by the demonstration of love we displayed publicly at the airport. One guy said he was going to steal my move.

The paper simply said, ”My gift from God”. Although I sincerely meant it as a way to bless my wife, others received a gift and realized that marriage can still be beautiful.

If you were bold enough to say hurtful words to your spouse out of frustration or anger, be man or woman enough to apologize.

Consistently let your Spouse know how much they mean to you. Each little reminder blesses your spouse and nurtures your Marriage.

Pray with each other often. There is no closer way to be together, than together in the presence of God.

Stop blaming your old habits….change them! Growing up requires maturing.

The success of your marriage will never be bound by what people say about it.

Preparation is the best way to plan for every area of your marriage; Praying is the best way to preserve it.

Meet Mvuleni and Nthabi

Married 4yrs

How and where did you meet?

We met at a mutual friends party at 16 and 19 years of age.  Mvuleni: She had her hair in a piggy-tale to the side of her head and that’s what grabbed my attention. She stuck out like a sore thumb because of that hair-style!  Nthabi: We were good friends for 6 yrs until I decided to give him a chance. He begged me for a while to give him a chance at treating me like a queen and showing me what true love is. I accepted and I have since never looked back!

Share something about each other that you admire:

We love the fact that we are more of best friends than husband & wife or parents. We have kept the friendship going strong and we’re tied to each others hips.

Share a challenge in your marriage that you have overcome together and how you overcame it:

Nthabi: My husband is a cop in South Africa and he is exposed to a lot of horrible things because the crime here is rather bad. He would tell me of stories that broke me down that he had to deal with. It was very hard for him to cope with the pain and as a result, he resorted to alcohol abuse. Mvuleni: It nearly broke our marriage. We we’re expecting our 2nd son and she couldn’t cope, being pregnant and having a husband who was constantly drunk. Then, word came out that she drove me to drink, that she was not a good wife to me and that I needed to find somebody better.

“We went to seek help from our church and our parents but the greatest help of all was God. With having 2 kids and love for each other, we both prayed for God to please mend our marriage.”

After you have overcome the situation, how has it made your marriage stronger?

Nthabi: The fact that he was told to leave me but never did, when the opportunity presented itself, was proof enough to me that he loved me & our 2 boys. Mvuleni: I saw that my drinking was breaking us apart, so I have now stopped. Nthabi: Glory to God!

After all of that battle we are now more open with each other, we communicate better and don’t bottle up emotions anymore.  We know when to seek help and we recognize which people wanted our marriage to fall apart. We have since then cut all contact with those negative people and we now love God and each other even more then we did since His intervention in our marriage

Share a funny or interesting story.

Nthabi: This is an interesting one: Before I met my husband my father passed away. The day my husband (friend at the time) visited my house my mother could have passed out cold because my husband looked just like my father. In a way I guess I was drawn to him by the fact that I see my father in him. He loves & takes good care of me just like a father would!

Stop and listen when your spouse comes to you and wants to talk. Instead of being annoyed by the interruption, be grateful for the moment.