Don’t allow people or things to put division between you and your Spouse. Protect your Marriage!

Body language and gestures can say more than the words you speak. So, since you say you love your Spouse, your actions should always say the same.

Keep your eyes only for your Spouse! Giving anyone else more attention will distort your own view of your spouse and confuse your love for them.

Respect is a value that we aspire to have in our lives as individuals. Whether we realize it or not, no matter the age, culture or gender, respect is a value that sits inside of us and transitions outwardly as confidence.  You must have a balance within yourself when you recognize that others respect you.  Too much flattery, without balance, can convert into high minded thinking and outwardly miss treat those people that you come in contact with.  Too little appreciation can easily turn into doubt of oneself. 

There is a strong character call “love” that fills the empty place in our lives as we interact with family members, love ones, friends and our spouses.  True love feels so good on the inside and it is easier to give love than what the amount of energy you have to muster up to hate someone or to be angry with someone.  There is a strong element that women need to feel the expression of love.  On the other spectrum, men need to feel respected.  We all need both, but I’m referring to the essence that has been instilled in us from the beginning of time.

It is very easy to point out faults and failures amongst others when things are not going well.  For any period of time being in a relationship, you will learn what pleases your mate and what will annoy them when you can’t have your way.  Husbands and wives learn their spouses’ behavior buttons over time and those buttons sometimes get pushed and feelings get hurt.  When this happens, there is a distance and discontent that come about in the marital closeness that was once there.  If prolonged without reconciliation, without an apology, resentment can form and begin to eat away at your marriage.

Pay attention to your words and be sure to remain aware of your negative, belittling and disrespectful words that you did not mean to say, but said out of anger, hurt or frustration.  When this happens, be man or woman enough to go back to your spouse and apologize for what you have said or done.  Then you rebuild again by making her feel like a queen or you make him feel like a king.  Be genuine and truthful and the trusting of their hearts will be strengthened even more than it was before.  The reverence of respect will keep you on the path of life with your spouse, which was so intended to be from the beginning. 

  Johnnie B. Sanders                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Husband and Wife for Life Writer/Speaker 

We had the incredible opportunity to vendor and speak at the Dallas Bridal Show, late July 2012. It was our first public appearance! Our speakers, Johniie and Marcene Sanders spoke about the importance of keeping a healthy marriage, and the keys to having a long-lasting marriage. The show was a success!!!

Meet Jenn & Austin

How and where did you meet?

Austin and I met through mutual friends. My best friend was dating one of his friends and they thought that we would make a cute couple. The first time we hung out we went to a casino to hear my favorite country singer perform. We were late to the concert and I was not happy about it. So I guess you can say things didn’t start off without a hitch. There was a little hesitation on my part in the beginning. I couldn’t believe my best friend thought this man was a good choice for me. Not long after hanging out more often, Austin got a haircut and wore his glasses the next time I saw him and it was love from there. (See a little polishing up can make a huge difference). We dated for 3 years and have been married for 2.

Share something about each other that you admire. 

Jenn: What I admire most about Austin is that he always puts his family first. He is a hard worker and provides for us on a daily basis. He loves the Lord and is a great spiritual leader for the family.

Austin: I admire how Jenn always puts her family’s wants and needs before her own. I admire what a wonderful mother she is and the fact that she always takes time every night to pray with our daughter and tell her about God and his Son, Jesus Christ, which is the most important thing we could do for her.

Share a challenge in your marriage that you have overcome together and how you overcame it.

Throughout our marriage we have overcome a lot of obstacles. Before we married, we gave birth to our first child, who we love dearly. As everyone knows, babies are hard on a relationship. Especially for us because we were still learning to adapt to each other’s lifestyles as two individuals merging together into one family. There were everyday adjustments as well as personal adjustments. We had no time for dating and rarely got to enjoy each other’s company while dealing with a screaming infant and waking up every few hours to feed and rock our daughter back to sleep. When we weren’t busy doing those things, we were preparing for them. So we had to step back and reevaluate how to handle the situation and make it a point to focus on each other’s feelings. 

After you have overcome the situation, how has it made your marriage stronger?

We are stronger and closer, but we still have to take each day at a time. Life is always busy and sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the moment before you lose it. Once it is gone, we cannot get it back. We love each other very much and do our best to show each other each day. Prayer is very important in our marriage and without it I don’t know how we as a couple would survive.

Share a funny or interesting story.

I think it is pretty interesting that Austin and I are both adopted. He was adopted when he was an infant and I when I was 16 years old. I think the Lord knew just what he was doing putting us together. Personal and life experiences are what draw people together and that is what happened with us. My husband is my best friend, my rock, my protector, and a great Christian role model for our family. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

Men, we all have heard or read somewhere that we are to love our wife. Depending on our background, upbringing, culture or religion, this could mean a different delivery to our wife. What you may interpret as “loving your wife” could mean paying the bills. I on the other hand may have an idea in my head that loving my wife means doing the yard work or taking out the trash. If I’m not mistaken, that is a duty or a chore. Some may say that taking his wife to dinner or to a nice movie does show that he loves his wife. This is another form of action or performance of what love is.

Is doing “things” truly loving your wife? Don’t get me wrong, if you are doing things together with your wife, which is great and should be expected, this is a good thing. There are some couples out there who do not get the pleasure of doing romantic events or having lovely night outs with just each other.

Note: We will talk about that later.

Please know that “things” do get old and die and wrinkle and wither away. There is a progression that the marital journey does follow regardless of who you are. In this journey of love and marital bliss, there is always that element of familiarity that the love expressions become stale and men it is up to us to stay on point and recognize the signs when a tune-up is needed.

Husbands, we have to know our rightful place and authority of what has been instilled in us to love our wife and to lay our life down for her in any situation. That’s right, on earth, the buck stops with you. We are built to handle life differently than our wife. It does not matter how strong she is and how well she handles the pressures of life, women are strength. She is also a wonderful, beautiful delicate flower that should be cared for and nurtured. This does not negate her independence or individuality, our love for them allows them to freely be who they are even more. Love covers and conceals any faults and covers any infirmities and our love should build her up. Our love for our wife should always be fuel to launch her higher than she was before us.

If unsure, learn what really fuels her desires and with all power that lies within you, start working towards those desires. The key is to become so familiar with her, that loving her is like breathing; it’s a part of you and becomes second nature.

Johnnie B. Sanders
Husband and Wife for Life Writer / Speaker

One way of rekindling the connection between you and your Spouse is to stop nit-picking the “bad” things about them and to start observing and complimenting more of the good.

You will never be able to change anyone easier than you can change yourself. Work on you and let God change them.

True commitment to someone requires you to have self-discipline, love, respect and maturity.